For those of you who have already started your Christmas shopping, I have just the thing for that someone special on your list. You can’t get it at Wal-Mart, or Target, or even Goodwill, but don’t despair because Uncle Sam is going to be there to help with the shopping this year and all you gotta do is get in line. Get in line now for Government provided and run healthcare! There’s no time to debate, no time to argue, you need to get in line right now or you won’t be able to get your own!
Now, that wasn’t so bad was it, did you get your number? That’s right, your number, you got one right? You’re gonna need that because this is THE gift of the year. Yes, yes, I hear your objections but give me a moment because while Harry Reid’s vision may not be out on shelves yet, make no mistake, demand is going to be strong! You’re going to be impressed, you’re going to love it, there’s nothing like it, you’re kids are gonna thank you for doing the right thing!
Why do you need a number? Well, anything worth getting at this time of the year requires a number! You know that! You can’t go out and just pick up this sweet of a deal without getting a number! Besides, only the first 31 million people get a number and you didn’t see anything in that vision that restricted anyone on this planet from getting this sweet deal, now did you? No, I didn’t think so, you’re a smart one, yes you are! And we gotta count up these 31 million somehow. People are getting in their cars, their boats, their balloons even as we speak to get down to their closest Federal office to get this deal.
So, back to your number, you know it’s gonna hold your place in line, but even better, it also gets you a place in next year’s line as we begin doling out procedures. You need a mammogram, that number gives you a shot of receiving one outta the budget for 2010. Sorry, only one per family til we know if everyone got one. You need an MRI, line up right away, because they’re going fast. You need an abortion? Exercise your reproductive rights and head to the front of the line. After all, it’s not reproducing if you don’t keep doing it!
But you need to start thinking about your choices now because some people, not you or your family of course, will be denied, it’s first come first served and if you wait, you will be charged!
And I got one final benefit you’re gonna love, it fits right into your tax bracket! That’s right, in fact, if you’re one of the lucky 31 million newly insureds, this gift just keeps on giving. Not only do you get subsidized healthcare paid for by your neighbors, but you also get to help lower the deficit, it’s like money’s growing on trees! It’d be criminal not to take this healthcare, you wanna leave your kids with higher debt? C’mon now, let’s get this thing rolling, let’s get you signed up, and just let good ole’ Uncle Sam take care of you!
December 21, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Andy,
This is sad,…..once again,Comments and no solutions.Do you need to be reminded of limitations of the currant medical system?
Or perhaps you need a to look at the limitations of your own policy,there are many.So this surely means that if you are elected,you will for go the government health care you will be offered?
In this increaseingly global economy,how can U.S. businesses stay competitive with countries that have national heathcare.
I don’t believe that saddling them with the constant incease of health care will help.
So Andy,stop with the scare tactics and let’s hear some idea’s.
Merry Christmas!
December 21, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Let’s not kid each other Kurt, Reid’s bill isn’t about providing solutions. I wonder if you looked at his offering as critically as you did my piece of satire? Naw, doubt it, that’d require just a bit of intellectual honesty. Truth is, if his bill solved problems, why not implement it from day one, on everyone, instead of waiting till 2014 and exempting this constituency or that constituency? Why does Ben Nelson’s flock (yes, imagine that, a connotation of biblical proportions!) get a pass when Wisconsin residents (I would say citizens, but let’s not kid ourselves here either, everyone will get the freebie) won’t?
And tying national healthcare to global competitiveness? Talk about scare tactics! Why not scream it from the rooftops? IF WE DON’T HAVE NATIONAL HEALTHCARE, AMERICAN BUSINESSES WON’T STAY COMPETITIVE IN THE GLOBAL ECONOMY!!!!!!! I can almost hear Kruschchev banging that shoe of his as he promises to bury the U.S. Nevermind that the USSR provided government healthcare and collapsed under the weight of its “competitiveness.” I’m also wondering how Microsoft, Apple, and IBM ever made it out of the garage? How are they doing in the global economy? For more shocking news, here are the largest tech companies in the world. And how about FedEx, UPS, and USPS? Which version has government provided healthcare? Which is the least competitive? And when you’re looking at the largest corporations in the world, four of the top ten, and 28% of the top 500, are in America.
The free market has provided much more opportunity than the limitations you would point out. It’s far from perfect, but hardly a reason to stammer on about providing government healthcare. I’d rather pass on free healthcare than lose my freedom.
Merry Christmas to you too Kurt. Hope the New Year brings you everything you want, just no more stealing from me to pay for it!
December 22, 2009 at 1:54 am
I guess I’m clueless (not really) as I see it there is not a real concern unless you’re one of those spineless lawyers who makes his living out of lawsuits. If you keep free market the way it is currently, you have check and balances. So, we make healthcare mandatory…except for members of congress and the illegal aliens. I am an American…is there a loophole? Am I an illegal alien or a member of congress? (wish I could minimize the font) they seem to be one of the same.